I take my friendships very seriously. I have a handful of super close friends, who I keep in touch with regularly, wherever I move. But every time we move, I have to start over. I meet lots of people, but finding women who I know will become friends, and others who will become great friends, is always a challenge.
When I was a freshman in college, having a dinner with one of my now closest friends, she commented that it felt like we were on a date. We were sitting at an Italian restaurant, getting to know each other. By the end of the dinner, we were so excited by how well we got along and how much we had in common, we just knew we were going to be friends.
And we are still…16 years later.
And ever since that dinner, I’ve really taken it seriously, what she said about “dating friends.” It’s true, if you think about it. So here are my five reasons why making friends is Just Like Dating.
Meeting Someone New
You meet someone you click with, you plan something that involves just the two of you to see if you can be more than just acquaintances, and if that goes well, you start planning to see each other more regularly. Maybe you start a phone relationship too, and soon, if you’re lucky, this person has woven their way into many aspects of your life.
You Might Break Up
Sometimes, there is a fight or falling out, and maybe you don’t ever speak to that person again. Or maybe you get back together after some cooling off time. Maybe you are heartbroken over losing that friend. Maybe, you are just angry. But either way, it can be devastating.
A List of Qualities
I had a few prioritized qualities I was looking for in a boyfriend, (and eventually a husband) and it’s the same with friends. They usually have kids around the same age as mine, have a pretty flexible schedule, have somewhat similar parenting styles and a sense of humor. Bonus points if they like to have the occasional girls day at the mall.
When you meet a new friend, and you hit it off, it’s really exciting! There’s so much possibility and promise…what you will experience together, the stories you will share, how your life will change because this new person is in it.
Significance in your Life
The closest friends are ones that help create experiences that you will never forget. They are there for the milestones, the tragedies, and the celebrations. And when you look back on these events, it will be the friends who made them memorable.
And…today, I just thought of one more.
Ever get home from a fun time with a new friend and wonder how long you should wait before you call? Should you send a text message saying you had a great time? Should you wait for them to? And, how long should go by before you schedule another get together? If you mention it too soon, will you scare your new friend off? Or are they just as excited as you are to keep moving forward? So many questions!!
See, a lot like dating, isn’t it?