Evie 1Comment

Monster High Happy Meals 1

I want my daughters to be lots of things. A tramp isn’t one of them.

That’s why I was pissed when they ripped open the humid paper bags containing their McDonald’s Happy Meals to find Monster High toys inside.

One look at these characters and you’ll see why I take issue:

  • Stripper heels
  • Ass-baring skirts
  • More makeup than Kylie Jenner
  • Crazy dye jobs
  • And undoubtedly suggestive poses

E V E R Y T H I N G is wrong with this.

I’ve never seen the show, but if you visit Mattel’s website, they’ll try to tell parents that:

Monster High captures the awkward teenage moments that we all experience in high school. At its core, the brand celebrates everyone’s inner monster by encouraging all to: Be Yourself. Be Unique. Be a Monster. 

If you read a description like that in your TV Guide, heck, you might be persuaded to let your sweet baby watch this garbage! But look at what they’re actually selling here.

The characters don’t all appear “unique.” They’re simply variations on the same theme. They’re not celebrating the awkwardness of high school, they’re masking it with slutty outfits and voluptuous hair. No one I went to high school with looked like that, not even the girls who got pregnant at 14!

But the biggest problem with the show and the merchandise is the audience. This isn’t a show for teenagers; it’s a show geared toward girls who are still playing with dolls, girls who are still eating Happy Meals, like my 3-year-old.

Don’t believe me? Check out this screenshot from Mattel’s website:

Monster High Happy Meals 2How old are these girls? Ten? Eleven?? Do they really need characters in their shows in such adult attire?

And if this weren’t bad enough, we’re shoveling this shit down to the really little ones via Happy Meals! What the hell happened to Strawberry Shortcake and Hello Kitty? I suppose I could’ve ripped my girls’ new Monster High toys out of their hands and chucked them in the trash (where they belong), but who would do that to their kids?

So I ask, Where is the public outcry? Am I the only one whose jaw dropped when her kid pulled a Monster High toy out of a Happy Meal?

Why do we bemoan the haste with which our little girls mature to sassy, sexy preteens, yet hand our babies dolls dressed like strippers on Halloween to play with?

Listen, I’m no prude. And I know that just because a woman dresses like she’s “easy” doesn’t mean she’s actually promiscuous. But dressing this way sends a certain message and brings a lot of attention. Girls pick up on this message a lot more quickly when we shove it in their faces.

That’s why I contacted McDonald’s corporate office directly with my concern. Here’s the response I received:

Hello Evie:

Thank you for contacting McDonald’s to share your comments about one of our recent Happy Meal toys. I’m sorry you were disappointed with the theme of this Happy Meal.

You may be interested to know that our Marketing staff reviews several different criteria when designing toys — playability, durability, safety, quality and popularity with children just to name a few. The latter is always a challenge given the number of Happy Meal toys we offer every year. We often offer toys from kids’ favorite television shows, retail toy lines and movie or television characters.

Please know that we would never intentionally upset our customers. Your comments are important and have been shared with our Marketing staff for their review. They’ve assured me they will consider your feedback when planning future Happy Meal offers.

Once again, thank you for letting us know how you feel. We hope you’ll enjoy our future Happy Meal promotions.

So basically, it’s all about whatever will appeal most to the kids; never mind whether it’s actually appropriate. Come on, McDonald’s. Get it together.

Since McDonald’s has made it clear that my one voice doesn’t matter on this issue, I’ve started a petition to get Monster High toys out of Happy Meals (yes, I’m this serious!).

Monster High Happy Meals Petition

If you’re with me—if you think these super sexual characters don’t belong in the hands of 4-year-old girls—sign the petition!


Let’s make a real statement.

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One thought on “The Totally Inappropriate Toy I Found in My Kid’s Happy Meal

  1. You could, like, you know, not buy the Happy Meal and the toy. It’s cheaper and healthier to eat at home.

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