They had been through enough. Failed cycles of IUI, surgeries, failed cycles of IVF…and there’s only so much a couple can go through before changing courses. Nate and Jenny weren’t willing to give up on their dream, and so they ventured into a new unknown; the process of adoption.
There are two avenues to go when considering adoption; international and domestic. Whereas Jenny initially preferred an international adoption because it was more private, and wouldn’t necessarily create the perceived heartache of what she thought an open adoption could be, Nate was happy with a domestic adoption. After all she’d been through, Jenny just didn’t feel she had the emotional strength to carry through an open adoption process.
First, the couple met with an adoption agency in Massachusetts, where they learned that Massachusetts has the lowest birth rate in the country, so the adoption agency may only see three moms in a year who want to place their children. Therefore, they only worked with six couples at a time. Instead, Jenny and Nate started meeting with many different agencies. One in particular, said Jenny, “made me feel like I was buying a car.” With end of the month specials and discounts for adopting children of particular races, it was impersonal and not at all the experience Jenny and Nate sought. So, they began researching other adoption agencies. Unfortunately, with prices toward the $70,000 range, it seemed adopting privately might be out of their financial range.
Their search led them toward Texas, which has the highest birth rate in the country. After completing the homestudy in Massachusetts, they looked toward a specific adoption agency in Texas for child placement. What does a homestudy include? Fingerprints by the FBI, a home check, a meeting with Nate and Jenny and their dog, physical examinations for each parent, and assurances they would be fit parents.
Next, they had to make a profile book, which, in ten pages, would introduce them to any potential birth mother. “We thought it would be easy, but it was really difficult! You are trying to tell someone you don’t know about you…and fitting it all into ten pages!” said Jenny. What do you say? What details of your life do you highlight? How do you present yourself to someone who, based on these ten pages, could choose you??
Jenny and Nate finished the book in two days, because they’d been given an opportunity for a baby. However, the birth mother ended up choosing someone else, so Jenny and Nate went back to waiting.
By Christmas of 2013, Jenny and Nate had created six copies of their book, four personal references, had their fingerprints done once again for Texas, and were waiting, an uncomfortable feeling that unfortunately, they were very used to by now.
In January, they made plans to paint the nursery in a Monsters Inc theme…hoping that somewhere, soon, there would be a match.
That’s the thing about hope. It’s such a strong force. It pulls people together even after disappointment after disappointment.
And it was on this very weekend, the weekend that Nate and Jenny went to buy paint for a nursery, that their phones rang. But, as fate would have it, both Nate and Jenny had left their phones at home on that seemingly ordinary Friday. And when they got home, they had a message waiting for them…a voice mail that would change their world forever.
Jenny and Nate have been so brave to share their story with us, but now they need help. They are trying to expand their family once again, (stay tuned next week for how their adoption story turned out!) and they have been given an unbelievable, but expensive opportunity. Click here to find out more about their current situation!