Q. Is it right for a hostess of a family get-together at Christmas to refuse to allow a girl who is a friend of a family member to attend?
A. When you’re a guest in someone else’s house or at someone else’s event, unfortunately, you really can’t just invite your own guests.
It’s the responsibility of the host to make a guest list, and there are lots of factors they might consider:
- The physical space they have in their home (there are only so many chairs you can fit around a table, right?)
- Their budget for hosting (more people = more expense)
- The amount of chaos they can tolerate (we all know big groups can get a bit crazy)
- The relationships of the individuals attending (no one wants drama at their party!)
- The mood of the event (is this a close family gathering or a more casual grouping?)
Because we’re talking about a Christmas party, your hostess might want to keep the group smaller and more focused on the family. Consider that if you bring a friend (even a close friend), your hostess might feel like she has to offer others the opportunity to do the same, and then you’re not looking at a close family gathering at all!
With family, it’s fine to ask your hostess whether you can bring a friend, but:
- they are well within their rights to say no;
- you really can’t be upset about this.
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