Want to know the biggest mistake you can make with a strong-willed kid? Engaging in a power struggle. So what if we decide not to take their behavior personally, and instead helped them discover the outcome of their choices, so the child can decide for themselves the best course of action?
Is that possible with a toddler or preschooler who’s testing boundaries and learning right from wrong? Yes.
There’s a part of parenting that doesn’t make it to the highlight reel on social media. Tantrums. The screaming kind. The biting kind—the kicking kind—and all the kinds in between. Each child throws their own unique type of tantrum. Whereas some kids curl into a ball and hide, others will scream for over 30 minutes in a shrill, head-splitting tone. Some kids love to add throwing toys, kicking their parent, hitting, or even biting.
Tantrums can be the most difficult time of a parent’s day—mostly because there’s really no adult control over what happens and when they end. But what if there were?
We’ve heard it so many times, from coaching clients, friends, and family with young kids—even each other: “My kid just won’t listen!” It can be frustrating to parent a child who’s openly defiant, refuses to cooperate, and doesn’t seem to care a smidge about what you just asked them to do. And then, if you’ve got a strong-willed kid, every interaction can feel like an explosion, every day can feel like a minefield.
So how do you get out of that cycle of nagging with no result? Get to the root of the problem by figuring out which of these 5 reasons is behind your child’s lack of cooperation and how your Parenting Personality might be part of the problem.